Las Vegas, NV
May 20, 2020
Garrison Keillor hits Las Vegas with a new solo show!
April 18, 2020
Garrison Keillor comes to the Rochester Civic Theatre for a night of stories, songs, poetry, and humor. Tickets $50 and up
February 19, 2020
Garrison Keillor with Heather Masse at the Dakota. Night 2 of 2. Tickets $30+
February 18, 2020
Garrison Keillor with Heather Masse at the Dakota. Night 1 of 2. Tickets $30+
The bleachers are deserted, the lights have all gone dark
The field is empty, no names on the scorecard.
Nobody yelling “hot dogs” tonight at the ballpark.
I sit out in the backyard with my Twins cap on my head,
Relaxing in my lawn chair but the radio is dead—
Nothing there but music, I guess I’ll go to bed.
I wake up in the morning, feeling low and mean—
Nothing in the paper, no box score to be seen.
My corn flakes taste like cardboard, my coffee’s kerosene.
Am I living in America, is this the month of June—
No baseball games, I feel like I am living on the moon
Nighttime doesn’t follow daytime, and there is no afternoon.
If the paper’s not delivered, I wouldn’t bat an eye—
The radio is busted, I wouldn’t wonder why—
But I can’t go to the ballgame, I just sit alone and cry.
My darling brings me hot dogs, my darling brings me beer,
She says, “Let’s play Monopoly.” I say, “Let’s not, my dear.
It’ll make me think of baseball and the way it disappeared.”
Somewhere there is laughter, and the little songbirds call.
Somewhere hearts are happy, somewhere people have a ball,
But there is no joy in Mudville, no, there is no joy at all.