A live performance at Gustavus Adolphus College’s Christ Chapel in St. Peter, MN
Tickets: $25, $10 for staff, students get in free
Buy tickets online →
By phone: 507-933-7520
In-Person: Information Desk in the Jackson Campus Center, Gustavus Adolphus College
Mr. Keillor has now reached a certain age when you realize how lucky you are and you stop complaining. Complaint is a mainstay of comedy, so he is now experimenting with a comedy of gratitude, talking about parents, teachers, lucky breaks, dumb things that turned out smart. This is his first experimental tour.
I was brought up by evangelicals so I can understand the fervent campaign to elect a revolutionary socialist to the White House. My people believed that we alone knew the mind of God and that He loved us more than the ignorant pagans around us. So when I see the old revolutionary shake his fists and shout against injustice, I relive the righteousness of my childhood. Happy times. I haven’t felt half so superior since.
It’s more satisfying to be part of a militant righteous minority than to be in the anxiety-ridden confused majority — to be a nightrider rather than a passenger in the long wagon train. The problem with righteousness is that it isolates you from those who are less righteous, which is okay if you’re self-sufficient and living in the woods but if you depend on others, you need to cut corners. When I was 20, I looked down on people who hadn’t read the right books, but then one day you need to call a plumber and your world starts to broaden.
But I’m an old man and the world belongs to the young. I am only a tourist, so I guess I will go drink some toilet bowl cleanser or maybe move to Iceland. I enjoyed Reykjavik when I was there years ago with my pal Bill Holm, an Icelander. We roamed around town, eating herring, and he got good and drunk and I watched and took notes. The language is so complicated that Icelanders don’t want to hear you try to speak it — Icelandic for “I have done more for Christianity than Jesus” is Ég hef gert meira fyrir kristni en Jesús, which is a mouthful — so they speak excellent English.
Iceland felt small and comfortable and America feels much too large and ungovernable, on the verge of fracture, and this time the issue is the love of children. Half the country seems fully committed to lousy public education and spotty health care and the freedom to pollute air, water, and soil as you please, leaving our children to face desperate crises by 2050 if not sooner. A society that tends to the elderly and lets children fend for themselves is looking through the wrong end of the binoculars. In Iceland, you’re paid child benefits and get paid parental leave as a fundamental right. It is better for society if children are brought up by parents rather than in the woods by wolves. (Duh.)
What keeps me in America is baseball and also the fact that my wife is herring-intolerant. She can’t live in a country where you might go to someone’s home and be served fried eel. I can’t live without baseball, a rational game. Soccer is not, it’s like volleyball without a net or hockey without sticks. And in America I’m somewhat clearer about the bounds of decent behavior so it’s easier to be cranky without running the risk of being enrolled at the Home. The other day, in a bunch of aging lefties, I announced that I see no problem with Mike Bloomberg spending a couple billion on his campaign and people listened politely. Nobody threw organic kale at me.
In America, I could join the Elks or Moose or the Order of Hoot Owls, an exclusive lodge of cranky men and wear mystical capes and swords and bow and cross my heart and make secret rituals part of my life. I won’t but I could. I won’t go to Las Vegas and take up high-stakes poker either but I could. In Iceland, I wouldn’t have those options.
Meanwhile, we live in this movie in which the Top Guy is cruising, enjoying the incredible helicopter service, the motorcades, the precision of the Marine guard salutes, the microphones all pointed his way. He opens his mouth and great blatty ignorance comes out and a vulgarity you wouldn’t accept from your child’s sixth-grade teacher, but here he is, a New York developer pretending to be president. He is heading for re-election and we’re watching it happen.
I know that if I sat down to dinner with Republicans, we’d have a good deal in common with each other, and almost nothing in common with the Current Occupant. He is among the strangest presidents in our entire history. Why are we drifting toward the cataract? Who will take the oars?
“Shout out, do not hold back! Lift up your voice like a trumpet!” said the prophet Isaiah, which we read in church on Sunday, but nobody shouted. We are flatlanders, brought up to be still and behave ourselves and listen to instructions, but if the instruction is to shout out and raise your voice, wait to see if other people do it and then, depending on which ones do, maybe do it yourself but quietly. And we are Episcopalian so what would we shout? A poem by Mary Oliver? A recipe for bouillabaisse?
I would shout, “God help us and do it soon.” I was provoked last week to wonder where I would go if Democrats hand over the White House and the Current Occupant remains for sixteen or twenty years until he’s in his mid-thirties and I thought, “Iceland.” England is an obvious choice but I don’t understand Brits when they talk and Icelanders speak beautiful English. I was in Reykjavik once, driving around, lost, and saw a large white home by the sea and walked up and knocked on the door and it was opened by the president of Iceland. It was his home. He told me to get back to my hotel. He spoke perfect English, of course. Imagine knocking on the door of a white house and it’s opened by the C.O. The thought is depressing, not to mention his English.
But the Sunday service moved on to the confession of sins and I thought of my unfair bias against pop music of the past thirty years and the replacement of melody and harmony with rapping and tapping and my shameful bias against people with tattoos. This is wrong of me to dismiss my fellow creatures just because, on a crazy impulse years ago, they had enormous orange flames inscribed on their left shoulder. Or the young woman I saw in the grocery last week with green leaves tattooed on her neck. Just because she imagined herself as a trellis is no reason to look down on her. Someday I may be in a vegetative state myself and I hope people are no less kind for that.
I confessed this to Almighty God to Whom all desires are known and from Whom no secrets are hid, including my envy of a friend who lives in a majestic house with umber tile floors and rattan carpets atop a hill overlooking the blue Pacific, which he earned by cranking out mindless TV shows in which unattractive people snarl at each other to the accompaniment of a laugh track, which enables him to jet down to Brazil and hike into the rain forest and have more fun than I do and so I entertain hopes that he will fall off a ledge into a slough and be bitten by poisonous fish and catch a rare fish-transmitted disease that leaves the victim feeling lethargic and stupefied and for which the only cure seems to be fasting, chastity, and immersion in cold water. I imagine visiting him to express my insincere sympathy. I confessed the sin of envy but as you can see it is a continuing problem.
On my way home I remembered more sins, including a loathing of braggarts who cannot bring themselves to ever admit being wrong and a strong intolerance of ducktails on older men. I know of a man who is very committed to maintaining the swoop of hair with distinct comb tracks behind each ear, touching them up every fifteen minutes or so even though he is allegedly fully employed. I knew boys in high school sixty years ago who were dedicated to their hair but the habit tends to fade as one acquires children, wives, debts, etc. Barack Obama has zero-maintenance hair, unimpeachably so. Nobody imagines him spending time doing his makeup and sculpting his hair. The gentleman in question is also the biggest braggart in the history of America. When you hear him spout off about his perfections and you see the duck marks on his head, there is a cognitive dissonance like the sound of a stack of china dropped on a concrete floor.
Be that as it shall be, I am thinking that Iceland may be worth a look. My people left Yorkshire in 1774 and came here and it’s been good but eventually things run their course. Next Sunday in church I will say a prayer for the man and for his hair. I think baldness would be good. He is bald-faced so why not the top too?
I flew into New York last week, descending over the East River onto LaGuardia, and outside Baggage Claim I was surprised to find men and women in official yellow vests guiding us tourists toward the taxi stand, helping with luggage, saying, “Welcome to New York” and “Thanks for using LaGuardia” and “Enjoy the city.” This is not the New York that we Minnesotans expect to find, but thank goodness the cabdrivers are still genuine New York cabdrivers, surly, scrappy, contemptuous of the stupidity all around them.
In Minneapolis, the cabdriver who drove me to the airport told me, without prompting, about his brief career as a guitarist in a band, his failed marriage, the difficulty of getting back to music. Call me a cynic but it struck me as a plea for a big tip, which I, a Minnesotan, duly gave him. In New York, no cabdriver would take that tack. He is a fighter who will get you from the airport to the Upper West Side five minutes faster than anyone else could.
New York is a good place to visit when you feel the country is falling apart. On the island of Manhattan, high-rises keep rising, water mains break, rush hour is crazy, you can’t help but feel the fragility of the complexity of the place and yet people cope. They cram into subway cars and find privacy in a book or a pair of headphones. I sat next to a woman once who, I swear, was listening to Copland’s “Appalachian Spring” while looking at a solid wall of people’s legs and rear ends. Everywhere, you see the resilience of the human spirit.
The country is splintering, farmers going broke, government stewardship of the planet is a dead issue, the Arctic is melting, we’ve come to accept dishonesty in high places, and in January we watched the cruel punishment of Chief Justice John Roberts, Jr., chained to a chair and forced to listen to the Senate’s impeachment trial, like making Wynton Marsalis listen to one hundred hours of air horns. But the president won a big victory, just as the state of Kansas did in the Super Bowl, and now we move on to other matters, such as socialism: what percentage of American voters consider themselves socialist? Five? Eight? Three?
My phone rang in the cab. It was a friend I’d recently been miffed with. She said, “My kid told me a joke and I thought of you. Knock, knock.”
“Who’s there?”
“Amish.”
“Amish who?”
“That’s funny, you don’t look like a shoe.”
It was the first knock-knock joke I’d heard in years: I don’t know many nine-year-olds. I am a mature American male, a tax-paying Episcopalian, and this joke kills me. It made me forget whatever it was I was miffed at her about. This is the beauty of jokes: if they’re funny, they erase bad feeling. “Why don’t Amish water-ski?” I ask. “Because it’s so hard on the horses.” She groans but she is amused.
I’m sad that the lightbulb joke has vanished in America, it was clever, often funny, but it made fun of categories of people and this was seen as offensive. How many psychiatrists does it take to change a lightbulb? (One but the lightbulb has to want to change.) Irishmen. (One to hold the bulb, nine to drink until the room spins.) Jewish mothers. (None. I’ll just sit in the dark and suffer.) Episcopalians. (None, we have candles.) Amish. (What light bulb?) Germans. (Nein.) Comedians. (This is not a joke, it’s a question.)
Trump is the first president in my lifetime who’s incapable of telling a joke, a remarkable thing about him, plus his inability to smile. When he refers to dissident Republicans as “human scum” and African countries as toilets, he’s not kidding. This is old-fashioned New York street talk. Trump is New York through and through, elected by Midwesterners who were charmed to find out that someone could talk like that and run for public office. They decided we needed an abusive leader. Meanwhile, the yellow vests at LaGuardia who said “Welcome to New York” were under strict orders from a powerful boss who can fire them in five seconds: this was not voluntary, trust me. I liked our cabdriver. He didn’t tell us about his problems, he just got us where we were going. Meanwhile, the big news is that Melania has put Trump on a diet so he loses five pounds a week. In a year, we’ll be rid of him entirely.
A live performance at Gustavus Adolphus College’s Christ Chapel in St. Peter, MN
Tickets: $25, $10 for staff, students get in free
Buy tickets online →
By phone: 507-933-7520
In-Person: Information Desk in the Jackson Campus Center, Gustavus Adolphus College
Mr. Keillor has now reached a certain age when you realize how lucky you are and you stop complaining. Complaint is a mainstay of comedy, so he is now experimenting with a comedy of gratitude, talking about parents, teachers, lucky breaks, dumb things that turned out smart. This is his first experimental tour.
Note: Some of you may have heard rumors that U.S. citizens will no longer be able to visit Cuba by the time the ms Veendam sets sail. Please know that at this moment, we are fully planning to keep Cuba on the itinerary, but that we have backup options as well. In the event that the itinerary changes, reservations will not be canceled or refunded.
6/20/2019 UPDATE: Cuba must be removed from our itinerary. U.S. travel to Cuba for tourist activities is now banned by the U.S. government.
Welcome!
Dear Prairie Home Cruisers,
It was a long hard winter in Minnesota, and I am in a mood for warmth and pleasure next winter and that will be The 12th Prairie Home Cruise, a one-week jaunt from Fort Lauderdale with stops at Jamaica, Cozumel, the Cayman Islands, and Key West, sailing March 18, 2020.
All a person needs to get through the blizzards and
darkness is a bright light on the horizon — a candle in the window — and so,
next winter, I will dream of March 18, the flight to Fort Lauderdale, the
surprise at seeing sunshine, green plants, people in shorts and T-shirts.
And then the cruise!!!
Rob Fisher and his 10-piece Coffee Club Orchestra will perform for your dancing pleasure. The amazing jazz singer Nellie McKay is coming, a powerful pianist and ukulelist. Gospel will be represented by Jearlyn Steele. Pat Donohue will join us, as will Dakota Dave Hull, a veteran of early PHC days who is in all-time top form. Robin and Linda Williams are on board, as are Joe Newberry and April Verch. Heather Masse is coming, and Christine DiGiallonardo so Brooklyn will be represented. Maria Jette and Vern Sutton will sing from the piano bench tropical hits such as “Bésame Mucho” and “Perfidia.” Of course our acting company of Sue Scott, Tim Russell, and Fred Newman will be there, and thanks to them, Dusty and Lefty will ride the plains and Guy Noir will scour the back alleys and Mom and Duane and Ruth Harrison, Reference Librarian. Rich Dworsky and the Guys All-Star Shoe Band will support all of this and I will be there, as well. Talking about Lake Wobegon, coffee, rhubarb pie, reminiscing about early radio days. Doing poetry. Emceeing the story hours. Writing limericks for guests who win the limerick lottery. And singing with Heather and Christine, Robin and Linda.
If this cruise is as much fun as I expect it to be, maybe
we’ll do another. As Emily Dickinson wrote:
Wild nights — Wild nights! Were I with thee Wild nights at sea! With PHC! Off to Jamaica! Freely we go! Peel that banana! Let’s do a show. Winter, goodbye! Minnesota, New York! Hello, Miss McKay And the Coffee Club Orch.
As on previous cruises, guests will have the opportunity to enjoy music performances, lectures, and nature viewing in multiple locations. We’ll gather at the Mainstage for live A Prairie Home Companion shows followed by dancing with the Coffee Club Orchestra, the Crow’s Nest for early morning singing and late-night dancing, and the Wajang Theater for lectures. Guests can catch live music sets in intimate settings such as the Ocean Bar and bring acoustic instruments to picking sessions at the Explorer’s Lounge. Of course, bird-watching will take place on the decks!
Dan Chouinard
Dan Chouinard is a St. Paul-based honky-tonk pianist, concert soloist and accompanist, street accordionist, sing-along enabler, Italian and French teacher, and bicycling vagabond. He’s been commissioned to write and host a number of live programs blending history, memoir, and music for broadcast on Minnesota Public Radio and Twin Cities Public Television. He played on a dozen live broadcasts of A Prairie Home Companion and served as rehearsal pianist for Meryl Streep, Lily Tomlin, and Lindsay Lohan during the making of the 2006 Robert Altman film of the same name.
The Coffee Club Orchestra
The Coffee Club Orchestra sprang into existence in the fall of 1989 when Garrison Keillor asked musical director Rob Fisher to put together a group for his radio show. Chosen for their breadth of experience and their versatility, the Coffee Club musicians delighted public radio listeners with their rambunctious renditions. Rob Fisher and the Coffee Club Orchestra have since appeared on many of New York’s stages, from the plaza at Lincoln Center to City Center’s Encores! series. Their album of Depression-era popular music, Shaking the Blues Away, was released on EMI/Angel in 1992. They can also be heard on Kristin Chenoweth’s debut album, Let Yourself Go.
Christine DiGiallonardo
New York-based vocalist Christine DiGiallonardo is at home singing in early-music chamber ensembles as well as jazz and rock bands. She has performed in New York City Center’s Encores! productions of High Button Shoes, Me And My Girl, Brigadoon, The New Yorkers,Annie Get Your Gun, Lady, Be Good!, On Your Toes, Gentlemen Prefer Blondes, and Fiorello! She also performs solo and with her sisters, Daniela and Nadia, as The DiGiallonardo Sisters, and her voice can be heard on commercial jingles for Aquafresh, Mr. Clean, Playtex, and Febreze.
Pat Donohue
Grammy-winning fingerpicker and songwriter Pat Donohue has a devotion to acoustic guitar that has made him an American standard, as he echoes the tones of Robert Johnson, Blind Blake, Charlie Parker, Muddy Waters, and Chet Atkins. A versatile guitarist’s guitarist, he wows fans with intricate fingerpicking, easy wit, and nimble interpretations of old blues, swing, R&B, and original tunes. For over 20 years, Pat was lead guitar and songwriter for A Prairie Home Companion’s Guy’s All-Star Shoe Band. He now tours the U.S., playing performance halls, clubs and coffeehouses, conducts workshops, and teaches at prestigious guitar camps.
Richard Dworsky
For 23 years, Richard Dworsky served as pianist and music director for Garrison Keillor’s A Prairie Home Companion, providing original theatrical underscoring, leading the house band, and performing as a featured soloist. The St. Paul, Minnesota, native also accompanied many of the show’s guests, including James Taylor, Bonnie Raitt, Yo-Yo Ma, Sheryl Crow, Chet Atkins, Renée Fleming, and Kristin Chenoweth. Rich’s original compositions for piano (and piano with ensemble or vocal) can be heard on his CDs All In Due Time, So Near and Dear to Me, and The Path to You.
Rob Fisher
For four seasons, Rob Fisher served as APHC’s music director and led the Coffee Club Orchestra. An internationally recognized music director, conductor, and pianist, and a leading figure in musical theater, he has been a guest of every major orchestra in the country as conductor or pianist. With the New York Philharmonic, Fisher conducted the acclaimed concert versions of Carousel (Emmy nomination for Best Music Director) and My Fair Lady, as well as Mr. Keillor at 70. For his work on the Tony Award-winning Encores! series at New York’s City Center, he was presented the Lucille Lortel Award for Outstanding Special Achievement.
Dakota Dave Hull
Fargo native Dakota Dave Hull calls what he does “classic American guitar.” Hailed by everyone from Dave Van Ronk to Doc Watson, from the Washington Post to DownBeat magazine, his style spans a wide musical geography to create an infectious, uniquely personal blend of jazz, ragtime, folk, blues, Western swing, and vintage pop. He is a restlessly curious, adventurous traveler along the broad highway of America’s music. Most of all, his music is great fun. As Douglas Green (Ranger Doug of Riders in the Sky) puts it, “There is an imp within Dave Hull that always expresses itself on the fretboard.” His recent albums include his Sacred and Profane set, Heavenly Hope and This Earthly Life (Arabica Records).
Innocent Reggae Band
The Innocent Reggae Band is a Minneapolis-based reggae band that has been performing together since the 1990s. With members from from Tanzania, Trinidad, St. Croix and America, the band embraces the various rhythms of the diaspora to create a sound that embraces both the laidback lilt of reggae and the fiery sounds of Tanzania.
Maria Jette
Versatile soprano Maria Jette was a frequent performer on A Prairie Home Companion. She can sing dozens of operatic roles; she also performs pop songs, chamber music, oratorio, and show tunes. Maria spent a decade singing with the Twin Cities Baroque opera company Ex Machina, and has appeared with orchestras nationwide, including the Los Angeles Chamber Orchestra, New York Chamber Symphony, Saint Paul Chamber Orchestra, and Minnesota Orchestra.Among her recordings is The Siren’s Song: Wodehouse and Kern on Broadway, her second volume of P.G. Wodehouse songs, both with pianist Dan Chouinard.
Larry Kohut
Bassist for Prairie Home Companion’s house band, Larry Kohut is equally fluent on both upright and electric bass. He’s a first-call studio musician as well as a favorite with jazz musicians, playing with artists such as Kenny Werner, Ramsey Lewis, Bruce Barth, Benny Golson, Michael Brecker, George Coleman, George Garzone, Phil Woods, Chris Potter, Kurt Elling, Karrin Allyson, Patricia Barber — and the list goes on. His discography includes more than 100 albums, as well as several major movie soundtracks and hundreds of commercial jingles.
Richard Kriehn
When Richard Kriehn turned 10, his mom bought him a mandolin; at 19, he’d won the Buck White International Mandolin Contest. He went on to play with the Nashville Mandolin Ensemble and bluegrass group 1946. On the classical side, he has performed with numerous orchestras and was principal second violin for the Washington/Idaho Symphony. He first appeared on A Prairie Home Companion in 2006, when the show broadcast from Washington State University, where Richard had just completed a master’s degree in violin performance and conducting. A few years later, he was a fully established member of the APHC house band.
Heather Masse
Trained at the New England Conservatory of Music as a jazz singer, Heather Masse is equally versed in a variety of American song traditions — folk, pop, and bluegrass. A member of Billboard-charting folk group The Wailin’ Jennys, she has performed at hundreds of venues across the world. She was a frequent guest on A Prairie Home Companion, both with The Jennys and as a solo performer, and collaborated with artists such as Elvis Costello, Wynton Marsalis, Sheryl Crow, Renée Fleming, and Emmylou Harris. Her recordings include August Love Song — on which she joins forces with trombone great Roswell Rudd.
Nelly McKay
Nellie McKay has released a stack of acclaimed albums, among them: Sister Orchid, My Weekly Reader, and Normal as Blueberry Pie: A Tribute to Doris Day. She won a Theatre World Award for her portrayal of Polly Peachum on Broadway in The Threepenny Opera and performed onscreen in the films P.S. I Love You and Downtown Express.She co-created and starred in the award-winning off-Broadway hit Old Hats and has written several musical biographies, including A Girl Named Bill: The Life and Times of Billy Tipton, and The Big Molinsky: Considering Joan Rivers.
Joe Newberry
Known worldwide for his exquisite clawhammer banjo playing, Joe Newberry is also a powerful guitarist, singer, and songwriter. The Missouri native was raised in a family full of singers and dancers. He took up guitar and banjo as a teenager and learned fiddle tunes from great Missouri fiddlers. After moving to North Carolina, he quickly became an anchor of the incredible music scene there. The Gibson Brothers’ version of Joe’s song “Singing As We Rise,” featuring guest vocalist Ricky Skaggs, won the 2012 IBMA Gospel Recorded Performance Award. With Eric Gibson, he shared the 2013 IBMA Song of the Year Award for “They Called It Music.”
Fred Newman
Fred Newman is an actor, writer, musician, and sound designer for stage and screen, cartoon and concert hall. For nearly two decades, he added myriad sounds to A Prairie Home Companion. Originally from small-town Georgia, he worked with Jim Henson and created sounds, voices, and music for the Nickelodeon cartoon series DOUG, PBS’s Between the Lions, and films like Gremlins, Cocoon, and Who Framed Roger Rabbit? He even created the sound of Old Faithful for Yellowstone’s Old Faithful Visitor Center — all with his mouth. Author of MouthSounds, he’s now at work on a new book and series: From the Sound Up (The New Anthropology of Sound).
Tim Russell
Tim Russell worked on-air for WCCO Radio in the Twin Cities for some 33 years. In 1994, he became an actor on Garrison Keillor’s A Prairie Home Companion until the fall of 2018. The CD Tim Russell: Man of a Thousand Voices (HighBridge Audio) is a collection of his work on APHC. Tim is still a man of many voices and a proud SAG-AFTRA Voiceover Artist. He appeared in the Robert Altman film A Prairie Home Companion, in the Coen Brothers’ A Serious Man, and opposite Christopher Lloyd in I Am Not a Serial Killer. Tim is also a film critic on his blog, Russellreviews.com.
Sue Scott
After enjoying 24 years as the female cast member on A Prairie Home Companion, Sue Scott has rejoined the vibrant Twin Cities theater community. She recently appeared in Barbecue at Mixed Blood Theatre, Little Wars with Prime Productions, and in the sold-out run of Sisters of Peace at the History Theatre in St. Paul. A veteran voice-over talent, Sue has also been cast in some interesting roles in film and television: ABC’s In An Instant and the Netflix series Lady Dynamite. In addition, she is immersed in creating and producing her new podcast, Island of Discarded Women.
Chris Siebold
Chicago-based guitarist, singer-songwriter, composer, and arranger Chris Siebold leads his own bands — Lennon’s Tuba and Psycles — and collaborates often with Grammy-winning harmonica player Howard Levy. House guitarist for the last two seasons of A Prairie Home Companion, Chris joined Garrison Keillor and company for the “America the Beautiful” and “Love and Comedy” tours. This is his fourth appearance on an APHC Cruise. Chris lives in Batavia, Illinois, with his four-year-old son, Julian.
Billy Steele
Youngest of the Steele siblings, Billy Steele, performs, writes, produces, and serves as assistant director for the Grammy-winning Sounds of Blackness. He writes and produces for various other artists as well, including the Steeles, and his voice has been heard on soundtracks with the likes of Rod Stewart and Luther Vandross. Recently, he collaborated on the Disney soundtrack Legends, The John Henry Story, narrated by James Earl Jones. Billy is the musical director for Fellowship Missionary Baptist Church in Minneapolis, Minnesota.
Jearlyn Steele
Growing up in Indiana, Jearlyn Steele sang with her siblings as The Steele Children. One by one, they moved to Minnesota and started singing together again. Now music is the family business. She has performed with the Minnesota Orchestra and the Baltimore Symphony Orchestra, at Carnegie Hall and at the 2018 Super Bowl LIVE Verizon stage. In addition, Jearlyn is a public speaker (the singing speaker, she calls herself), an entertainment reporter for public television, voice-over talent, and host of Steele Talkin’, a Sunday-night radio show that originates on WCCO in Minneapolis. Among her solo CDs is Jearlyn Steele Sings Songs from A Prairie Home Companion.
Vern Sutton
Vern Sutton has collaborated with major musical organizations as a singer, actor, director, and educator. He was a founding member of the Center Opera Company, which became the Minnesota Opera, and composers Dominick Argento, Robert Ward, Conrad Susa, Stephen Paulus, David Thomas, Libby Larsen, and others have written for his voice. For 36 years, he taught at the University of Minnesota School of Music, and for four summers he was artistic director of Opera in the Ozarks. Vern was a guest on the first broadcast of A Prairie Home Companion and on innumerable shows after that.
April Verch
Growing up surrounded by living, breathing roots music, April Verch thought every little girl learned to stepdance at the age of three and fiddle at the age of six. She decided early on that she’d be a professional musician, and for decades she has been captivating audiences across the globe. From her native Canada to Europe, Australia, China, the United Arab Emirates, and beyond, she has spread a signature sound that blends regional Canadian, American old-time, bluegrass, country, and Americana. In 2019, April released her 12th recording, Once A Day (Slab Town Records), a heartfelt homage to 1950s and ’60s classic country.
Robin and Linda Williams
For decades, Robin and Linda Williams have made it their mission to perform the music they love: “a robust blend of bluegrass, folk, old-time, and acoustic country that combines wryly observant lyrics with a wide-ranging melodicism.” Today some might call it “Americana,” but these music masters were living and breathing this elixir 20 years before that label became a radio format. The two first appeared on A Prairie Home Companion in 1975, the same year they recorded their first album. In 2013, they released Back 40 — marking 40 years on the road and 40 years of marriage.
Jed Wilson
A versatile pianist equally at home as an improviser and as an accompanist, Jed Wilson earned a degree in jazz performance from the New England Conservatory of Music and has worked extensively in the worlds of jazz and folk music. In addition to maintaining a long-term collaboration with singer Heather Masse, he has performed or recorded with Aoife O’Donovan, Dominique Eade, and Rushad Eggleston. His most recent recording is a solo piano EP titled Nocturnes.
NATURALISTS
Aly Busse
Aly Busse is the Vice President for Education at Mote Marine Laboratory in Sarasota, Florida, a nonprofit research laboratory. She comes from a diverse background in informal science education, including aquariums, museums, and community outreach programs. Before joining Mote Marine Laboratory, Aly was Education Director at UnderWater World, Guam, and Youth and Family Programs Coordinator at the Pacific Science Center in Seattle. She also held dual roles at Rutgers University as the Senior Program Coordinator for a science outreach program and Associate Director of the Rutgers Geology Museum. She holds a Bachelor of Science in Marine Biology from the University of North Carolina–Wilmington, a Master of Science in Science Education from Old Dominion University, and is a PhD candidate at the University of South Florida.
Kiley Gray
Originally from Florida, Kiley Gray has always known that marine biology was her passion. After graduating with a Bachelor of Science in Marine Biology from the University of West Florida, Kiley worked as a fisheries biologist for the Florida Fish and Wildlife Commission. She is currently the Coordinator for Public Programs at Mote Marine Laboratory in Sarasota, Florida, an independent, nonprofit research laboratory with a public aquarium. In this position, she is responsible for bringing marine science and research to the public through a variety of programs for audiences of all ages and is an instructor for the Florida Master Naturalist program.
Lytton John Musselman
Lytton John Musselman earned a Ph.D. in botany from the University of North Carolina, Chapel Hill, and was chair of the Department of Biological Sciences at Old Dominion University in Norfolk, Virginia, where he holds the Mary Payne Hogan Distinguished Professorship of Botany. He established the Blackwater Ecologic Preserve in 1984 and is the Manager of that property. In addition, he has been a consultant for new Qur’anic gardens in Albania, Qatar, and Brunei Darussalam. Lytton is co-author of recently published Wildflowers of the Adirondacks (Johns Hopkins University Press). His other publications include 2019’s Parasitic Plants in African Agriculture. Described as a “passionate botanist” by Garrison Keillor, Lytton received the Meritorious Teaching Award from the Association of Southeastern Biologists in 2019.
LECTURERS
Dr. Tyehimba Salandy
Dr. Tyehimba Salandy is a Caribbean sociologist, lecturer, and consultant who resides in Trinidad and Tobago. With his passion for Caribbean history and culture he is a sought-after speaker who is known for delivering unique presentations on a diverse range of topics. Over the years he has engaged these issues through academic articles, radio and television programmes, and newspaper columns. He is currently a director at the Institute of Indigenous Knowledge, Empowerment, and Research where, among other things, he works on a project that uses nature as a basis for people to learn about history, society, and self.
Jon Wiant
Jon Wiant is an authority on intelligence and international affairs. His senior intelligence career spanned the Cold War and the security challenges that followed. In retirement, this recipient of the National Intelligence Distinguished Service Medal has taught at Washington universities and is a widely popular cruise and tour lecturer.
DANCE INSTRUCTION
Joy Davina
Joy Davina has been dancing and teaching for over 25 years. She is thrilled to be cruising with all of you again. She looks forward to providing fun-filled classes that will energize your body, mind, and soul.
A lot of
history is packed into Ocho Rios, Jamaica — or Ochi, as the locals call it.
Christopher Columbus was marooned near this site for more than a year, until a
rescue ship finally arrived and the explorer returned to Europe. It was his
final voyage. Playwright Noël Coward lived in the vicinity. So did swashbuckling
actor Errol Flynn and author Ian Fleming. (Parts of Dr. No, the first James Bond movie, were filmed nearby.) And reggae
pioneer Bob Marley was born in this same parish: St. Ann.
The area is a
bonanza for nature lovers, featuring scenic hikes, spectacular waterfalls, and
sandy beaches. And the area’s cross-cultural cuisine runs the gamut from spicy
jerk chicken to the leafy greens of callaloo to ackee with saltfish (the country’s national dish).
George Town, Grand Cayman, Cayman Islands
George Town, the capital of the Cayman Islands, is located on the western shore of Grand Cayman. Here, you’ll settle into just the right tempo for you: prestissimo (very quick) or larghissimo (did someone say sloth?). Enjoy swimming, snorkeling, diving, moseying through lush gardens, hiking through nature, bird-watching, sauntering along the fabled Seven Mile Beach (one of the best in the Caribbean), shopping, or taking in historic sites and the National Museum. Or just plunking down in the sand and daydreaming.
Then let the grazing begin! A melting pot of cuisines and a magnet for top chefs, Grand Cayman has culinary offerings to suit any palate.
Cozumel, Mexico
Twelve miles off the eastern coast of the Yucatán Peninsula, the island of Cozumel serves up a visual feast — from the stunning beaches to an array of birds and tropical fish to ancient architectural ruins of the Maya, whose settlements in the area date back to early in the first millennium A.D. Scuba dive or snorkel in the crystal-clear waters. Rent a bicycle and pedal the island’s paved bike path. And leave a little time for shopping — leather goods, Mexican handicrafts, silver, and maybe a brightly colored hammock to doze in back home in your own backyard.
Key West, FL
Key West — the westernmost of the Florida Keys and the southernmost city in the contiguous United States — has a ton of history, culture, and charm packed into a few square miles. John James Audubon, Tennessee Williams, and so many other notables drew inspiration here. Tour historic buildings, including the residence of one of the great American writers of the 20th century: Ernest Hemingway, who called Key West home for more than a decade. (And keep an eye out for those six-toed cats!) Enjoy water- and nature-related activities. Take in the stunning scenery. Sample sumptuous seafood. Soak up the sun. Relax.
Here you will find answers to the more common
questions we have been asked about our cruises. We also address some important
issues specific to this cruise.
Before sailing
with us, you must read and sign EMI/PHC Terms
and Conditions, which spell out important and contractually binding
guidelines for our cruise.
We recommend that you visit the Holland America website. You will find extensive and detailed information about sailing on their
ships. They have been in the cruise business much longer than we have — please
make use of their expertise.
EXECUTIVE MEETINGS and INCENTIVES, INC. (EMI) is
your partner in travel. They are your first stop for any help you may need with
travel arrangements or any question you may have. See EMI’s website for more information.
YOU MUST HAVE A
CURRENT PASSPORT TO SAIL ON THIS CRUISE. Even though this cruise originates and returns to the same domestic port,
you must have a passport to sail this cruise. U.S. citizens under the age of 16 may present an
alternate government-issued proof of citizenship, such as a birth certificate. Please
refer to Holland America’s website for Passport Guidelines.
YOU MUST SEND EMI YOUR FLIGHT ITINERARY BEFORE SAILING ON THIS CRUISE.
You must also provide details as to how you plan to
transfer to and from the cruise terminal in Fort Lauderdale. This is a Holland
America requirement and can be provided during the OLCI (Online Check-In).
WHAT IF A PORT BECOMES UNAVAILABLE DUE
TO REASONS BEYOND THE CONTROL OF PRAIRIE HOME CRUISES AND HOLLAND AMERICA?
We were scheduled for two (2) stops in Cuba — Havana and Cienfuegos, as well as Ocho Rios, Jamaica, and George Town, Cayman Islands. Holland America uses this language in their agreements with passengers: “WE HAVE THE RIGHT TO DEVIATE FROM SCHEDULED ROUTE, CHANGE PORT OF EMBARKATION/DISEMBARKATION, SUBSTITUTE TRANSPORTATION, CANCEL CRUISE AND ACTIVITIES, AND CHANGE OR OMIT PORTS OF CALL; SUBSTITUTION.” As this change was necessary and the cruise will sail as scheduled March 18–25, 2020, there will be no refunds. Please refer to EMI/PHC Terms and Conditions for more detail.
WHO ARE WE?
PRAIRIE HOME CRUISES (PHC) is an
independent company that was formed under the umbrella of PRAIRIE GRAND, LLC,
for the purpose of chartering cruise vacations. PRAIRIE HOME PRODUCTIONS is the
sister company that produces “A Prairie Home Companion” and “The Writer’s
Almanac.” PHC is responsible for all changes and additions made to the
regularly scheduled HAL cruise. We will provide the APHC performers,
entertainers, and lecturers sailing with you.
HOLLAND AMERICA LINES (HAL) operates
and manages the Veendam; provides for passenger safety and comfort; and is
responsible for your cabin accommodations, food, beverages, recreation, and
shopping while on board. Go to Holland
America website
for more information about life aboard the ship.
EXECUTIVE MEETINGS and INCENTIVES (EMI) is our agent
in charge of selling our cruise and booking your accommodations. They will
provide you with the highest levels of professional travel-related services.
They will book your passage on the ship. EMI will help you with transfers to
and from the cruise, cabin selection, and dinner table seating, and will provide
guidance for other onboard needs.
For
other questions, email
us or call EMI’s Prairie Home Cruise number at 908-458-3591.
I. Booking
How much does the cruise cost? For pricing information, visit EMI’s pricing page. We have cabins in a wide range of prices. You will find that we are offering favorable rates compared to our other cruises, especially when you look at how much we are charging per day.
What types of cabins are on the ship? Where are they located? There are a wide variety of cabins throughout all levels of the ship. You will always be close to the action on the Veendam. If you are interested in a Verandah cabin, we suggest that you book early, since there are relatively few of these available. See HAL’s Deck Plan for pictures, descriptions, and deck plans.
Is this a different ship than we have sailed before? For those of you who have traveled with us before, we will be sailing on the original class of ship with the Veendam. We sailed the same ship for a seven-day trip to Alaska in 2006. This ship will feel familiar, since the layout is similar to previous charters we have sailed. You will come aboard and immediately feel at home. Check out the Veendam Deck Plan.
How do I book a cabin? What types are currently available? For booking information, visit EMI’s pricing page. You will see a list of the currently available cabins. Just click on the one you are interested in.
May
I sail only part of this cruise? Deviations need to be requested in advance of the sailing via EMI. We do need to ensure that you are aware of a few stipulations. As with any travel, cruise guests must comply with all customs and immigration specifics that are applicable to the port in which they embark/debark the vessel, including any additional costs that may be involved at the pier/port to embark/debark the guests. Additionally, while we endeavor to follow our published itinerary, please understand that unplanned circumstances may require that we change or cancel our scheduled call to this port, or otherwise prohibit our ability to honor the deviation request. Should this occur, you as the guest assume all responsibility for any additional costs incurred.
Unfortunately,
we are unable to adjust the cruise fare or make a change to individual invoices
to manually reflect the shorter cruise segment. Please be advised that because
this is not a standard embark/debark port with porters on staff, guests will be
responsible for carrying their own luggage off the ship. We regret any
inconvenience and appreciate your understanding.
Are wheelchair-accessible rooms available onboard? What about other special needs? Holland America, PHC, and EMI do not discriminate against persons on the basis of disability. We seek, to the fullest extent feasible, to accommodate guests with special needs. Holland America offers a limited number of staterooms designed to be wheelchair and scooter accessible. Most public areas of the ship are wheelchair accessible; some areas such as the topmost outdoor observation area are not. To learn more about HAL’s options for guests with special needs, see the Shipboard Life section of Holland America Frequently Asked Questions. You can explore the deck plan (Veendam Deck Plan) to see where the wheelchair-accessible rooms are located. Please contact EMI directly at 908-458-3591 to discuss any special needs you may have.
II.
Payment/Finances
Is travel insurance necessary? We strongly recommend purchasing travel insurance. You will be booking this cruise many months before we sail; circumstances can easily change. Insurance is your only recourse for reimbursement in the event of change, delay, or crisis. For more information, see EMI’s pricing page.
What is included in the payment and what will cost extra? Please refer to EMI/PHC Terms and Conditions page. While on board, you can spend a minimal amount or incur significant charges by the end of the cruise. You will certainly be able to have an enjoyable time no matter how little or how much you spend. Alcoholic beverages, soda, spa services, the casino, and other onboard services are not included in your fare. We do not include airfare, ground transportation, shore excursions, or other off-ship expenses in our fares.
I’m a Holland America stockholder. Can I get a discount on my cruise? No. This cruise is private and chartered.
I’ve booked my cabin. What’s next? EMI will confirm your reservation with you electronically and provide an EMI confirmation number they will use to track your reservation. Closer to the cruise, EMI will provide your Holland America booking number and cabin number, which you will use to prepare for your trip to Book Shore Excursions.
How do I check in? Check-in and preparation for your cruise is an online process that HAL calls Express Docs. All passengers are required to check in using this system in advance of the cruise. You will need your HAL booking number to do this. You will be prompted to accept Holland America Terms and Conditions online. Once this is clicked, the contract is accepted. All documents necessary for your cruise will be provided online through Express Docs, including your cruise contract and your boarding pass. You will need to print out the boarding pass portion of these documents for each person in your party and have the boarding passes available at check-in. See EMI’s website for step-by-step instructions on how to use Express Docs.
It is essential that you review all
documents thoroughly and that you bring everything with you. This process is
similar to checking in for an airline flight, just more extensive. It is
required.
May I cancel my reservation? You may
cancel, but we have a strict refund policy. Within TEN (10) DAYS of your
registration, your deposit becomes nonrefundable. On or after November 20, 2019,
your full cruise fare will be collected and is not refundable. Please see EMI/PHC Terms
and Conditions page.
How do I pay for extras while on board? While on board, HAL maintains a “cashless society.” All additional purchases made will be charged to passengers’ onboard accounts. These accounts must be settled before disembarking.
If you have not done so already online, you will need to register your credit or debit card in order to use your onboard account for shipboard purchases. On the day of sailing, your card will be pre-authorized for U.S. $60 per person for each day, or $420 per person. Your account will then be activated, and you may make purchases by simply showing your guest identification card and signing a receipt. At the end of your cruise, you will receive a final statement, and your card will be charged only for the actual amount of your purchases. Please inform your credit or debit card issuer in advance that your card will be used on a Holland America Line ship. This will help prevent delays in obtaining pre-authorization on board. Some banks may keep the pre-authorization in place for up to 30 days. If you do not want to use a credit or debit card, the ship will collect a cash deposit from you at time of boarding in the same pre-authorization amount. Any excess deposit will be refunded to you at the end of the cruise. Traveler’s checks may be cashed at the front office to make your deposit. Personal checks are not accepted on board.
What about tipping? To whom and how much? A prepaid gratuity is included in your cruise fare. The gratuity currently is $14.50 (cabin) — $16.00 (suite) per person per day, or $101.50 (cabin) — $112.00 (suite) per person for the cruise. This will be shared among the Veendam’s entire staff. In addition, an automatic 15 percent gratuity is added to all bar and beverage service. Any tipping above this is entirely up to you. It is common, but not required, to tip for personal service in your cabin. Spa services include a 15 percent automatic gratuity. Additional tipping for bar service, dining room service, or the ship’s transportation services is not expected. For more info regarding these charges see Gratuities and Service charges.
In terminals, airports, ports of call, on-shore excursions, and at hotels, we suggest that you extend gratuities consistent with customary practices.
Are guests from outside the U.S. able to purchase online? Yes. International guests will be able to book their cabins online. All credit card charges will take place in USD and be converted to your local currency the day of the transaction.
III.
Travel To/From the Cruise
Regardless
of who books your air travel, you must send EMI a copy of your flight itinerary. If you book
your own travel, you must still provide EMI with your flight itinerary. EMI
must provide HAL with travel itineraries for all passengers. This is a legal
requirement: you will be denied boarding if you do not provide your travel
itinerary in advance. You must provide a cell or other phone number that can be
used to communicate with you in the event of travel delays.
We recommend that you purchase airline
tickets early. We hope you can find a good deal for travel to Fort Lauderdale.
EMI can help you book your flights; see EMI’s website for more
information.
When do we leave? When do we come home?
Please
note: This cruise departs and returns on a WEDNESDAY.
Boarding will begin in Fort Lauderdale at
approximately 11:30 a.m. on Wednesday, March 18, 2020; please do not arrive at
the terminal before 11:00 a.m. You must be on board no later than 3:00 p.m. We
sail at 4:00 p.m. local time and cannot wait for delayed passengers.
Fort Lauderdale is a major cruise port
and there are many options for same-day travel from the airport to the cruise
terminal. The two are quite close to each other. Please be sure to allow ample
time for travel complications, understanding that you should arrive to the
cruise terminal no later than 2:00 p.m. For those that choose to fly into Miami
International Airport, driving time between the Miami airport and the port is approximately
40 minutes. Leave ample time to transfer as you would in any major city.
Upon our return to Fort Lauderdale, disembarkation may begin as early as 7:30 a.m. and will end by 10:00 a.m. on Wednesday, March 25, 2020. Passengers should easily be able to depart from Fort Lauderdale on Wednesday, if you wish. We suggest a departure time no earlier than 1:00 p.m.
What
if my luggage gets lost by the airline? In the event your bags are delayed,
Holland America will make every effort to work with local operators to help
your bags catch up with the ship. Guests will need to submit a claim at the
airport before joining the vessel, once onboard the Veendam, guests must submit
their claim along with any other details to the Guest Service desk. Please note
that some major discount air carriers require that lost or delayed luggage be
signed for personally by the owner at the
airport. Please check their policies carefully before booking your air
travel.
Where can I stay in Fort Lauderdale? EMI has blocked out rooms in a nearby hotel, before and after the cruise. See EMI’s websiteif you are interested. Fort Lauderdale hotel rooms are not included in your cruise fare. EMI will not book a hotel room for you unless you ask them to do so.
What are the arrangements for travel from airport to ship? We recommend that you purchase a transfer package from EMI when you purchase your cruise — they are available for both Fort Lauderdale-Hollywood International Airport and Miami International Airport
They will offer a number of options; see
EMI’s websitefor details. These transfers will
include luggage handling. EMI will not
book any of these options for you unless you request them. Costs for these
transfers are in addition to your cruise fare. Here are the basic options:
– Airport to hotel on March 17th, hotel that night, and transfer to the ship on the 18th
– Airport to ship on March 18th.
– Ship to airport on March 25th.
– Ship to hotel March 25th, hotel that night, and transfer to the airport on the 26th.
How about getting to Fort Lauderdale on my own? This may be a good option for many of our passengers. There are parking facilities available at or near the terminal, including a garage adjacent to the terminal.
How do I get my luggage onto the ship? They do it for you! Once at the port terminal, you will leave your bags at the designated drop bag area for transfer to the ship—much the way you would check bags for a plane flight. There is no cost for this service. Your bags will be delivered directly to your cabin. A similar procedure will happen in reverse when we return to Fort Lauderdale.
When you first get on and last get off the boat, there will be a lengthy period of time when you will not have access to your baggage or to your cabin. Please be prepared with a small carry-on bag to hold the items you need, including all of your travel documents, medications, and any valuables you may have with you.
Whenever your bags are being transferred
for you, please be sure to respect deadlines for having your bag ready, properly
tag your bags, and reclaim them promptly. In particular, remember that just as
at an airport, you will always need to claim your luggage in the cruise
terminal. It will not automatically be transferred to your hotel.
Is there security screening? Before embarking the ship, your luggage will be screened before being loaded onto the vessel. If electrical devices or illegal substances are detected, you will be called to security to verify your items.
Will I need a passport? All passengers 16 years of age and over need passports. There are exceptions for infants and minors under the age of 16. Passports must be good for six months beyond the duration of the cruise. These regulations are strictly enforced. Please refer to Holland America’s website for Passport Guidelines.
May visitors come onboard? Holland America does allow for guests to have onboard visitors. If guests are interested in having a guest on board, they can visit the front office to find out the terms and conditions.
What about after the cruise, in Fort Lauderdale? We arrive early in Fort Lauderdale, allowing a great opportunity to explore all the area offers. EMI has blocked out hotel rooms in Fort Lauderdale for the night following the cruise, if you’d like to stay overnight.
EMI will offer you the option of booking
a transfer directly to the airport if you are flying immediately following the
cruise.
You will require a minimum of two (2)
hours to transfer off and get from the ship to the airport, plus time to
navigate the airport itself. We suggest booking flights out of Fort Lauderdale
that leave after 1:00 p.m.
IV. Traveling
Abroad
Will I need a passport? Yes, all passengers must carry a passport that expires a minimum of six (6) months following the cruise. For this domestic origination cruise, infants and minors under the age of 16 may prove citizenship with a government-issued birth certificate, and copies are acceptable. Please refer to Holland America’s Passport Guidelines.
Do I need shots? We are not aware of any special vaccinations or immunizations required for the areas to which we are traveling but please refer to Immunization Recommendations for additional information. Please refer to Travel Advisories for current details regarding all advisories.
What languages will be spoken at our ports of call? English is the official language in Ocho Rios and George Town. In Mexico, the official language is Spanish, though many citizens speak English.
What about currency?
JAMAICA:
The currency of Jamaica is the JAMAICAN DOLLAR. ATM machines will be available to draw funds, but with arrival in Jamaica on a Sunday, banks will be closed. Credit cards are widely accepted.
CAYMAN ISLANDS:
The currency of the Cayman Islands is the CAYMAN DOLLAR, but the U.S. dollar is readily accepted. Credit cards are widely accepted.
MEXICO:
The currency of Mexico is the MEXICAN PESO, although US dollars are still widely accepted in most local businesses in Cozumel. Your best bet is to use Mexican Pesos instead of other currencies to pay for your shopping, dining out, and other purchases as local business exchange rates are usually not good. Alternatively, you can pay with your credit card and be charged your bank’s exchange rate.
For ATMs, it is best to withdraw Mexican Pesos, as you will pay to convert your money twice if you withdraw USD.
V. Entertainment
What will we do on board? Boredom is not an issue. Never has been, never will be. We will schedule a full slate of musical performances. In the main showroom and in smaller venues throughout the ship, you will have ample opportunity to enjoy your favorite “Prairie Home” performers. There will be sing-alongs and storytelling and gatherings with Garrison. We will add lectures, readings, and other events to HAL’s regular cruise offerings.
The APHC events are in addition to all of the activities you would expect on a cruise ship: dining, swimming, spa services, eating, relaxing, sports, gambling, shopping, eating, entertainment, other special events, and more eating.
When do we attend the evening performances? Our main attraction on board is the evening performance in the main showroom. These can be similar to APHC broadcast shows, or they can be music concerts, or even shows featuring the various talents of your fellow passengers. Regardless, everyone wants to come see them.
The showroom only holds about half of the ship’s passengers, which is why we repeat the show each night. The problem comes when people try to see both shows. This can deny your fellow passengers the opportunity to see the show, so we use a plan that we hope you think is fair.
You will receive a color-coded Holland America ID card. This will identify which show you may attend each night. We are going to check this identification for each main evening show, just as we would take tickets for a regular performance. We will clear the auditorium after each show, and we will not allow people to reserve seats in advance.
Will you publish a schedule of activities? We are always adding new things to do, right up to the day of departure. When you arrive on the ship, we will have for you a schedule of activities for the entire cruise. Once aboard, we adjust the schedule daily. HAL and APHC will publish an official daily schedule, which will be delivered to your cabin every morning.
Will I actually SEE Garrison and other performers? The Prairie Home Company will be guests of Holland America just like you, living in cabins right down the hall or maybe next door. You’ll see them in the elevators, on the Lido Deck, at the buffets and bars, and, of course, on stage. Don’t hesitate to say hi, ask questions, or tell us you loved a particular event, but do understand that we may be running to our next assignment or just need some time on our own.
Should I bring a musical instrument? Sure! On this cruise we plan to give our passengers opportunities to play together and we will schedule “jam” sessions with a few of our performers. In casual — purely unplugged — settings you’ll have the chance to share your musical talents with your shipmates. Acoustic instruments only — Garrison wouldn’t have it any other way!
Will any of the shows be broadcast? No, but they will be recorded for possible later use. We may feature some video, photos, and audio segments via garrisonkeillor.com within a month or so of our return.
Will there be opportunities for autographs? While on board, feel free to ask for autographs at your leisure. We will also schedule autograph sessions in coordination with the gift shops on board. Check in with a Prairie Home or EMI staff member on board if you have questions about this.
Will there be APHC merchandise for sale? Yes. Check out the gift shops on board. We’ll have clothing, books, and lots of music featuring your “Prairie Home” favorites.
VI.
Dining
When do we schedule our dining? May we sit together at dinner? When you register for the cruise, you will request your seating preferences for dining. EMI will do everything possible to honor seating requests. In most every case you will be able to sit near friends and family (assuming you want to!). You may meet new friends at your table as well. Note that your dining time preference determines which performance of the evening Showroom events you will attend.
What is the difference between early seating and late seating? The Dining Room and the Main Show Lounge each hold half of the ship’s passengers, so we all need to rotate. —EARLY seating passengers will eat at the first seating of dinner, at 5:30 p.m. Then they go to the second Main Lounge show, at 8:30 p.m. —LATE seating passengers see the Main Lounge Show first, at 6:00 p.m. They then go to dinner at the second seating, at 7:45 p.m.
While accommodations can often be made, due to the popularity of our evening shows, we will use assigned dinner times: the “As-You-Wish” dining program available on regular HAL cruises will not be used.
If I have food allergies or other dietary needs, will the ship be able to accommodate these? Yes, but you must inform us in advance. Upon your initial booking via the EMI website, you will be asked about dietary restrictions. You will be asked again when you check in to Holland America to receive your Boarding Documents. Any special needs should be noted at this time (e.g. need for distilled water for CPAP machines, etc.). You can learn more under Shipboard Life at Holland America Frequently Asked Questions.
What is the Dress Code? Because we are chartering the ship, APHC has the freedom to set our own dress code policies. We are considerably more relaxed than the standard cruise. Sunday-go-to-church clothes is about as fancy as we get. If you like to dress up, please feel free, and many of us may join you.
The only time there will be an actual
dress code is in the dining rooms during the evening meal. On most nights, the
dress code will be “smart casual.” This means long pants and sports shirt or
sweater for men, and skirt or long pants and sweater or blouse for women. We
ask that you not wear casual T-shirts, swimsuits, bathrobes, tank tops, shorts,
and the like in the dining room. Further, we will designate one or two evenings
as “semi-formal.” This generally means sport coat and maybe a tie for men; and
a dress, skirt, or pantsuit for women. These nights are an opportunity for you
to dress up, and the crew will wear their dress uniforms, but it is not a
strict requirement.
May
we dine elsewhere? Holland America offers many other
options for dining. You are not obligated to join us in the dining room,
although you may want to let your seatmates know you won’t be joining them.
Dining options include a private table at the Pinnacle Grill or the Canaletto
Restaurant, informal dining on the Lido Deck, and Room Service available 24/7. The
Pinnacle and Canaletto options require a modest surcharge — well worth it for
the high quality of food, level of service, and atmosphere. Remember that the
dining room is a lovely, peaceful, option for breakfast and lunch — and it’s included.
VII. Life Aboard
Ship
How do I contact an EMI or APHC staff person? How will they be identified? We will staff an info table near the front desk. And we’ll all try to wear our ID lanyards.
After boarding the ship, how long before I can get into the cabin? Boarding for the ship begins several hours before we cast off. You’ll be able to settle in once your stateroom is prepared. HAL has streamlined this process to a great degree but please understand that they have to turn around accommodations for more than 1,200 people in a very short period of time. Plenty of onboard activities will be available while you wait. Make arrangements for your week. And the buffet lines will be open.
An announcement will be made when your staterooms are ready; that’s when you can meet your cabin steward and get unpacked.
What kind of amenities will I find in my
cabin?
Cabins on the Veendam are outfitted much like a good hotel room. You will find
them to be comfortable, nicely decorated, efficient, and clean.
All linens and bedding will be supplied.
Your bathroom comes complete with towels, toiletries, and your very own onboard
bathrobe. You will find ample closet and drawer space, a dressing table,
cabin-controlled air conditioning, a variety of cabin lighting, and a
television with shipboard programming.
All staterooms are equipped with standard 110 AC (U.S. port) and 220/240 AC (2-prong European port) power outlets. Personal care items and electronics will work just as they do at home. Hair dryers are available in all staterooms. You may wish to bring a travel alarm clock since they are not provided, although your cabin phone accesses an effective wake-up call system.
For safety reasons, the ship respectfully requests that you do not iron clothing in your stateroom. Ironing facilities are available in the self-service laundry rooms for your convenience. Full laundry, dry-cleaning, and valet services are available on the Veendam.
Where can I smoke? Please note that Holland America has a strict policy of prohibiting smoking in all staterooms. This policy will be strictly enforced. Substantial fees will be charged for cleaning your cabin if you smoke inside. In Verandah cabins, smoking is permitted outside on the balconies only.
In deference to our performers and your
fellow passengers, this is a “non-smoking” cruise with even stricter policies
than regular cruises. You may smoke only in one designated public area on one
outside deck of the ship. Our cruise designates all interior areas (including
all lounge and restaurant areas) as non-smoking where smoking might be
permitted on other HAL cruises. See the Holland America
Smoking Policy.
How can I be reached in case of an emergency? Holland America has procedures in place for situations that require emergency contact with your loved ones. Please refer to Emergency Phone Numbers for more information.
What if I need medical attention? Fully trained medical professionals are on board at all times, and a complete medical facility is available. Aspirin and seasickness pills are available at guest services, but you may have to pay for other items or services.
Can I call my friends in their cabin? Can I call home? Your stateroom comes equipped with telephones that can be used to call your fellow passengers just as in a hotel. They can also be used for ship-to-shore communication, however significant charges apply. Please refer to Ship-to-shore communication for more information.
Passengers may not see our guest roster, and we will not give out cabin numbers.
Will my cell phone work? Probably not while on board, almost certainly while in port — but be careful. Call your carrier for details for your plan. We suggest purchasing a data roaming package or making sure you deactivate your roaming feature before you leave port. Cellular at sea is very expensive.
Will I have access to the internet? Yes. You may bring your own computer or use ones provided by HAL. You can buy minutes for surfing the internet at any point throughout the trip. Wi-Fi is available throughout the entire vessel, including your stateroom, and is charged under the same system. Please be aware that the prices are high and can add up quickly. Please refer to Internet Use for more details.
We know that on previous cruises, many
of our passengers have not been satisfied with the internet service on board.
HAL continues to do what they can to improve service. However, a ship on the
open ocean will only be able to access a certain amount of bandwidth and there
will definitely be service outages. For your information, the biggest problems
on our cruises occur when all of us try to get on the internet between leaving
port and having dinner.
We recommend that you do not plan on accessing the internet to
stream video, hold conference calls, engage in an activity that requires to you
to maintain one consistent connection, or any other activity requiring
high-quality internet service. You should expect to be able to check your email
and keep up on basic social media but there will be times when service is
simply not available. It is also advisable that you LOG OFF when you have
finished using the internet.
On this cruise in particular, reliable
high-quality internet service will be readily available in all of our ports.
Can I get married on board ship? No. This is a private, chartered cruise. No weddings. No divorces, either.
Will there be stuff for my kids to do? Holland America provides a range of activities for kids through their Club Hal program. See HAL Onboard Activities for details. The Club HAL room is regularly available with games electronic and otherwise, and has daily special group activities. The schedule of events is determined by the number of kids who sail with us; we will include APHC programming in their schedule.
How should I dress for the weather? March is one of the prime months to sail the Caribbean, when the seas are generally calm and weather temperate. Expect good beach weather.
When on deck, it can always be windy and cool; be prepared for that. Of course, be prepared for rain. Be sure to bring comfortable shoes for walking on deck or on shore.
Should I bring anything else? If you are interested in “knowing stuff,” you might want to bring along your binoculars and a field guide or three (birds, marine mammals, wildflowers, and geology are just a few). Previous guests have found benefit from bringing a camera, a journal, an instrument, or their most recent knitting project.
What will sea conditions be like? We could have calm seas. We could have large waves. The ship may glide placidly along with barely a perceptible movement. The ship may rock back and forth, making even the stout of heart (and stomach) reach for the Dramamine. We will probably see a bit of everything. Holland America schedules cruises for favorable weather, something we’ve certainly experienced over the years. It is unlikely that we will experience severe weather, and HAL does an excellent job of tracking and avoiding storms as necessary.
VIII.
Excursions
You’ll find all the information you need at Shore Excursions. You will receive an email notice when they are available for your review and booking.
Booked guests may confirm shore excursion requests in advance of sailing. Once you have your Holland America booking number and cabin number, you may use it to view shore excursion information specific to your itinerary. To complete a booking, please proceed through all screens on the HAL booking page until you receive confirmation from them that your booking is complete.
Before you leave from home, we suggest
you make use of a handy feature on the website: you can generate a complete
schedule of your cruise that includes your pre-booked activities.
Guests may pre-book shore excursions online until five days prior to sailing. If your departure date is less than five days away, please call Shore Excursions at 1-888-425-9376 to book directly with an agent. All shore excursion requests are processed on a first-come, first-serve basis. Wait-listed requests for sold-out shore excursions will be processed prior to requests made on board. Children under 18 must be accompanied by a parent or responsible adult over 25.
Excursion cancellations may incur a
cancellation fee, and any refund may be issued in the form of credit to your onboard
account. Excursions have individual deadlines after which no refund or credit
is given. Please refer to Shore Excursions for details.
All excursions are the responsibility of
independent tour operators. HAL acts only as an agent to help you book your
tours. We have no financial or operational relationship with them. While
excursions may be arranged directly with independent operators on shore, you
will have limited recourse in the event of an unsatisfactory experience.
All of our ports afford the opportunity
to explore on foot at no cost or by local transportation. We will have extra
information on all of our ports for you before and during the cruise. Please
feel free to set out as you wish.
Wherever and however you explore, be
sure to be back on time. Be sure that your watch is set to ship’s time; local
time on land can be different. The ship cannot wait past scheduled departure
times.
IX. Contact Us
Email
us
or call EMI’s Prairie Home Cruise number at 908-458-3591.
Today is the birthday of Sholem Aleichem (1895), known as the Mark Twain of Yiddish literature. He said, “No matter how bad things get, you got to go on living, even if it kills you.”
It’s the birthday of English crime novelist Ruth Rendell (1930-2015), who said, “The tragedy of growing old is not that one is old but that one is young.”
It’s the birthday of the printer Giambattista Bodoni (Italy, 1740), namesake of the popular typeface Bodoni. He personally designed around 300 typefaces.
Today is the 200th birthday of Susan B. Anthony, a pioneer in the women’s suffrage movement. In 1920, 14 years after her death, the Nineteenth Amendment was ratified.
Today is Saint Valentine’s Day, named for a Roman priest who performed clandestine weddings in defiance of Emperor Claudius II’s law forbidding marriage.
It’s the birthday of Thomas Edison (Ohio, 1847), who amassed 1,093 patents for inventions including the phonograph, the light bulb, and the movie camera.
I was brought up by evangelicals so I can understand the fervent campaign to elect a revolutionary socialist to the White House. My people believed that we alone knew the mind of God and that He loved us more than the ignorant pagans around us. So when I see the old revolutionary shake his fists and shout against injustice, I relive the righteousness of my childhood. Happy times. I haven’t felt half so superior since.
It’s more satisfying to be part of a militant righteous minority than to be in the anxiety-ridden confused majority — to be a nightrider rather than a passenger in the long wagon train. The problem with righteousness is that it isolates you from those who are less righteous, which is okay if you’re self-sufficient and living in the woods but if you depend on others, you need to cut corners. When I was 20, I looked down on people who hadn’t read the right books, but then one day you need to call a plumber and your world starts to broaden.
“Shout out, do not hold back! Lift up your voice like a trumpet!” said the prophet Isaiah, which we read in church on Sunday, but nobody shouted. We are flatlanders, brought up to be still and behave ourselves and listen to instructions, but if the instruction is to shout out and raise your voice, wait to see if other people do it and then, depending on which ones do, maybe do it yourself but quietly. And we are Episcopalian so what would we shout? A poem by Mary Oliver? A recipe for bouillabaisse?
I flew into New York last week, descending over the East River onto LaGuardia, and outside Baggage Claim I was surprised to find men and women in official yellow vests guiding us tourists toward the taxi stand, helping with luggage, saying, “Welcome to New York” and “Thanks for using LaGuardia” and “Enjoy the city.” This is not the New York that we Minnesotans expect to find, but thank goodness the cabdrivers are still genuine New York cabdrivers, surly, scrappy, contemptuous of the stupidity all around them.
I drove to the grocery the other night and there, near checkout, saw a freezer case with the sign, “Artisan Ice Cubes,” a bold new step in our march toward Preposterosity. I asked the checkout guy if maybe the sign meant to say “Artesian” and he wasn’t interested. Word usage is not his responsibility. To me, artisanal ice is in the same category as organic non-GMO ice cubes. I’m a Minnesotan and I appreciate the beauty of frost and snow but an ice cube is an ice cube.
I stood around looking at J.D. Salinger stuff last Friday, his old black Royal typewriter, family snapshots, and typewritten letters, at the New York Public Library, and it was a wonder to see. I’m one of the many millions for whom The Catcher in the Rye was an important book back in my teens and back then, Salinger was famous for guarding his privacy. He didn’t do interviews, was never on TV, and so was portrayed in the press as a crank, an anti-social weirdo. It’s clear from the exhibit that he was not.
Winter is a thoughtful time. Snow falls in the trees and my natural meanness dissipates and the urge to bash my enemies’ mailboxes with a baseball bat. I put fresh strawberries on the cornflakes and taste the sweetness of life. I speak gently to the lady across the table. Marriage is the truest test — to make a good life with your best-informed critic, and thanks to her excellent comedic timing, we have a good life. My third marriage and this year we ding the silver bell of twenty-five years.
My family and I are at a swimming pool under the palm trees behind a pink stucco 1929 hotel in San Diego, my wife reading a memoir, my daughter swimming laps of alternate crawl and butterfly, and I am trying to think of what one can say about blissfulness other than that, for a Minnesotan brought up on the principle of “It could be worse,” blissfulness comes as a major surprise, like weightlessness. The hotel looks out on the Pacific, a beach where sea lions fraternize and waves crash on the rocks. As I ate my oatmeal on the balcony this morning, a seagull landed on the railing and cocked his eye at the raisins on the cereal so I tossed him one and he caught it. This almost never happens back on the frozen tundra where nature makes serious attempts to kill us. In paradise, it’s Live and Let Live.
I don’t do New Year’s Eve anymore because the parties never were that much fun and we wound up trapped in corners in the usual intense conversations (kids, schools, political lunacy), and some people drank too much and forced the rest of us into a guardianship role and the sheer awkwardness of telling an old drunk to let his wife drive him home, and so the party ended with us wondering: why do we not know how to have a good time? White liberal guilt? The inbred gloom of northern people? Too many books one has read and is eager to quote? Lack of dancing skills?
Coming through airports this week it struck me how kind everyone was, ticket agents, TSA people, cab starters, and then light dawned: it’s Christmas. Charles Dickens had a big impact on the world and so did Frank Capra and Jimmy Stewart, not to mention St. Luke. I stood in a long winding line in LaGuardia and sensed no impatience; the TSA guy even smiled and asked how I was. And when I lost my ticket in Atlanta, I walked to Gate T7 and asked an agent and she made me a new one, no problem.
I learned a new word last week: “anonymized.” It means just what it says, “made anonymous,” and was used in reference to government reports obtained by the Washington Post that contained truthful revelations about our 18-year war in Afghanistan that the government was lying to the American people about while spending a trillion dollars to achieve something that nobody in the Pentagon could quite define.
My uncles, may they rest in peace, would not have been surprised by the Post’s story. Their regard for generals was low, based on their own military service, and their opinion of politicians lower: they associated high office with adultery, alcohol, and bribery, end of discussion.
Subscribe to the “Garrison Keillor” list to receive a weekly email including his latest column, excerpts from Garrison’s books, news about upcoming shows and projects, plus links to performances, TWA & APHC merchandise, and poetry features.
Subscribe to “The Writer’s Almanac” list to receive a DAILY email that includes the classic “on this day in history” section, a poem, and a link to listen to that day’s episode.
The Writer’s Almanac:
To submit poetry books for consideration to be used on The Writer’s Almanac, please mail to:
Prairie Home Productions/TWA 410 Oak Grove Street Minneapolis, Minnesota 55403
PLEASE INCLUDE EMAIL CONTACT INFORMATION WITH YOUR SUBMISSION. The staff of TWA will contact you or your publisher if your work is selected to appear on The Writer’s Almanac.
ShopGarrisonKeillor.com Questions
For questions related to items you have ordered from our store, please contact Katharine at kseggerman@garrisonkeillor.com
Get In Touch
Press Kit
If you are hosting a show with Garrison, please feel free to use the below press photos for marketing, as well as the below short biography. Promo video for purpose of booking is available here.
Garrison Keillor did “A Prairie Home Companion” for forty years, wrote fiction and comedy, invented a town called Lake Wobegon where all the children are above average, even though he himself grew up evangelical in a small separatist flock where all the children expected the imminent end of the world. He’s busy in retirement, having written a memoir and a book of limericks and is at work on a musical and a Lake Wobegon screenplay, and he continues to do “The Writers Almanac” sent out daily to Internet subscribers (free).
He and his wife Jenny Lind Nilsson live in Minneapolis, not far from the YMCA where he was sent for swimming lessons at age 12 after his cousin drowned, and he skipped the lessons and went to the public library instead and to a radio studio to watch a noontime show with singers and a band. Thus, our course in life is set.
Recent reviews:
“Fans laughed, applauded and sang along throughout Sunday night’s two-hour show” -Jeff Baenen, AP News
“His shows can, for a couple of hours, transform an audience of even so-called coastal elites into a small-town community with an intimacy only radio and its podcast descendants can achieve” -Chris Barton, LA Times
“[Keillor is] an expert at making you feel at home with his low-key, familiar style. Comfortable is his specialty.” -Betsie Freeman, Omaha-World Herald
To shop merchandise related to Garrison Keillor, A Prairie Home Companion, and The Writer’s Almanac,visit our new online store
