Columns
From the New York Times, Time magazine, and the complete Chicago Tribune syndicated columns
From the New York Times, Time magazine, and the complete Chicago Tribune syndicated columns
People who live in mud huts should not throw mud, especially if it comes from their own roofs. As Scripture says, don’t point to the speck in your neighbor’s eye when you have a piece of kindling in your own. I see by the papers that the Republicans want to make an issue of Nancy […]
Read MoreMemorial Day is a fading holiday, destined to go the way of the Glorious Fourth and Labor Day, which once had ceremonial functions and now are simply bonus Saturdays. It was a small-town institution and a matter of community pride to honor our dead. The citizenry hiked up to the cemetery on Monday morning behind […]
Read MoreMy mother told me the other day that there’s a lot she’d like to know but there’s nobody left to ask. Mother is 91 and her mind is sharp and she feels her losses. Of her 12 siblings, only one remains. All of the others whose reminiscences she used to enjoy have gone on to […]
Read MoreI stumbled into a fight with Catholic parents a couple weeks ago and felt the hot flame of righteous indignation and got a snootful of flaming e-mails accusing me of being anti-Catholic, racist, elitist and abysmally ignorant, a taste of what a mayor or congressman must get on a regular basis. It was interesting. Ignorant, […]
Read MoreOkay, let me say this once and get it off my chest and never mention it again. I have had it with writers who talk about how painful and harrowing and exhausting and ALMOST IMPOSSIBLE it is for them to put words on paper and how they pace a hole in the carpet, anguish writ […]
Read MoreI’d like a word with you about your mother, and I want you to read this column all the way to the end, otherwise I will slap you so hard your head will spin. I realize that Mother’s Day is a fake holiday perpetuated by the greeting card industry and the florists, but it’s here […]
Read MoreThe robins and finches are singing here on the frozen tundra and the crocuses are popping up, yellow and purple bunches among the winter crud, and the heart is struck by one dumb idea after another, such as the urge to open a bookstore. “Wholly to be a fool while spring is in the world, […]
Read MoreEvery marriage has its ups and downs. There are the days when you look at your spouse and hear choirs humming Alleluias and there are the days when you wonder, “Who are you and what is your stuff doing in my house?” Those are the days when you play golf. Fishing works, too, or writing […]
Read MoreColumnists should not write about politics. Take it from me, it’s a bad idea. You pick up your bright sword to harass the heathen Republican and your prose style goes limp, your verbs droop, and words such as “comprehensive” and “funding” creep in and you become thin-lipped and hissy, like Miss Whipple in study hall […]
Read MoreI went to the Mayo Clinic last week for the annual ceremonial physical, hoping my doctor would send me off to a hospital, one of those really nice ones with a sunny terrace where you sit in your bathrobe and beautiful brunettes bring you fresh orange juice. The diagnosis would be nervous exhaustion, I guess. […]
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