Columns
From the New York Times, Time magazine, and the complete Chicago Tribune syndicated columns
From the New York Times, Time magazine, and the complete Chicago Tribune syndicated columns
I stumbled into a fight with Catholic parents a couple weeks ago and felt the hot flame of righteous indignation and got a snootful of flaming e-mails accusing me of being anti-Catholic, racist, elitist and abysmally ignorant, a taste of what a mayor or congressman must get on a regular basis. It was interesting. Ignorant, […]
Read MoreOkay, let me say this once and get it off my chest and never mention it again. I have had it with writers who talk about how painful and harrowing and exhausting and ALMOST IMPOSSIBLE it is for them to put words on paper and how they pace a hole in the carpet, anguish writ […]
Read MoreI’d like a word with you about your mother, and I want you to read this column all the way to the end, otherwise I will slap you so hard your head will spin. I realize that Mother’s Day is a fake holiday perpetuated by the greeting card industry and the florists, but it’s here […]
Read MoreThe robins and finches are singing here on the frozen tundra and the crocuses are popping up, yellow and purple bunches among the winter crud, and the heart is struck by one dumb idea after another, such as the urge to open a bookstore. “Wholly to be a fool while spring is in the world, […]
Read MoreEvery marriage has its ups and downs. There are the days when you look at your spouse and hear choirs humming Alleluias and there are the days when you wonder, “Who are you and what is your stuff doing in my house?” Those are the days when you play golf. Fishing works, too, or writing […]
Read MoreColumnists should not write about politics. Take it from me, it’s a bad idea. You pick up your bright sword to harass the heathen Republican and your prose style goes limp, your verbs droop, and words such as “comprehensive” and “funding” creep in and you become thin-lipped and hissy, like Miss Whipple in study hall […]
Read MoreI went to the Mayo Clinic last week for the annual ceremonial physical, hoping my doctor would send me off to a hospital, one of those really nice ones with a sunny terrace where you sit in your bathrobe and beautiful brunettes bring you fresh orange juice. The diagnosis would be nervous exhaustion, I guess. […]
Read MoreA peacock walked past the window as I ate breakfast last Saturday at an old country inn in Albuquerque, his great fan of bejeweled feathers open wide, following a peahen who was pecking around the gravel as if he didn’t exist. The peacock appeared to be infatuated, shuffling around, waggling his rump, craning his bright […]
Read MoreSpring arrived in New York last week for previews, a sunny day with chill in the air, but you could smell mud, and with a little imagination you could sort of smell grass. I put on a gray jacket, instead of black, and went to the opera and saw Verdi’s “Luisa Miller,” a republican opera […]
Read MoreI flew up to Grand Forks, N.D., last week on one of those little regional jets that put you into an intimate relationship with your seatmate. Mine was a slim young man in black horn-rims who was studying a legal pad with math formulas on it. Halfway to the Forks, he asked the flight attendant […]
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