Las Vegas, NV
May 20, 2020
Garrison Keillor hits Las Vegas with a new solo show!
April 18, 2020
Garrison Keillor comes to the Rochester Civic Theatre for a night of stories, songs, poetry, and humor. Tickets $50 and up
February 19, 2020
Garrison Keillor with Heather Masse at the Dakota. Night 2 of 2. Tickets $30+
February 18, 2020
Garrison Keillor with Heather Masse at the Dakota. Night 1 of 2. Tickets $30+
Dear Mr. Blue,
I am a corporate speechwriter and a copywriter. I am 55.5 and would like to meet the right man who enjoys words. I placed a personal ad but got a response from a man in Federal Prison. It seemed intrusive to ask how he landed himself there, so I didn’t respond. I’ve got many friends and I’m perfectly okay-looking. What should I be doing? Taking trips? Moving to another country with a shortage of middle-aged women? Making a systematic request to my entire list of acquaintances to ask them to produce one person? What would you do? I am about to give up.
-Exhausted by Love
You have a book here, Exhausted, and you should start writing it as a vacation from the corporate. Begin with the facts, 55.5 and looking, the letter from the inmate, and then launch into fiction. Invent an inspirational book for your heroine to read, that says you have to love yourself before you can be loved by another, and put her on that path. Meanwhile, do some self-examination. What is it that truly gives you great pleasure? At 55.5, a person can be so tied up in work and routine that the idea of pleasure is forgotten. The search for pleasure may very well lead you to the man. Mutual pleasure is a good footing for romance. Meanwhile, writing a book in which you’re the heroine will probably tell you a lot about yourself.
I write books and have a wonderful medium-size press that puts them out. I like these guys and we laugh and get along grand. The flip side is, I know a bigger press could sell a lot more books. I’m not getting any younger and I’d like to see if I can play in the big leagues before my knees go out and my bat speed drops. Should I risk losing the publisher I like for a larger one that can really sell the tickets? Maybe I’m not really a big leaguer, should I be happy where I am?
-Swinging for the Fences in Texas
You may need a good agent, Swinging, who can lead you through this particular thicket. An agent has an interest in your book sales, but a good agent is also a realist. The beauty of agentry is that you focus on writing and let her deal with business. You sound slightly apologetic, self-effacing, and an agent won’t be shy about beating the drum for you. As for the medium-size friends, they will understand if you jump to the Bigs, and if you sell truckloads of books, they will be happy for you. I can’t advise about risk, it’s a risk to cross the street, but I think your ambition is a fine thing.
Hi Mr. Blue,
I am a 66-year-old woman and I married again for the third time (which is a charm). My question is: how do I get my husband to stop asking me, “What did you say?” I now refuse to repeat myself because repeating myself so often feels like work and not worth the effort.
-Speaking into the Void
Diction, Speaking. Project your words. Look at the dear man when you speak to him. If the problem continues, take him to an audiologist. If he won’t go, you can always write notes or text on the phone. If you get frustrated, take his clothes off and throw him in bed. A naked man lying next to a woman is twice as alert.